love yourself best

we all know valentine’s day sucks. i mean really sucks. it even sucks when you’re a kid. all that pressure to fill out 30 valentines, making sure jeremy, the kid who smells like hotdog water, doesn’t get the wrong idea but bryce gets the RIGHT idea. and is there anything more terrifying than a room full of balloons or red roses that smell like a cold grocery store? and even with the best of intentions a valentine from your valentine is never the valentine you wanted. and don’t even get me started on the sex pressure. it’s like a ticking time bomb. (i’m fun to be around)

anyway, fuck all that. just get yourself something.

how about a pretty red robe with lace? wear nothing underneath and channel gwyneth with a mirror and your VULVA. or this overpriced dyson hair contraption that will give you the “best hair of your life”- everyone on instagram. maybe it’s worth it? i could spend all my money on just workout outfits including shoes. i’m living proof that fresh workout clothes are an excellent motivator. i recently tried this lip whip in suji and it’s just the best stuff. can be worn sheer on the lips for a just-ate-a-berry look and on cheeks for a rosy flush. it’s the red lip for people who think they look old in a red lip. or for just a few dollars you could gift yourself this adorable cat charm bracelet. and for a several thousand dollars this ettore sattsass bookshelf. a forever piece if there ever was one. you can see it in action here. or what about a fresh quintet of pillows for your sofa? ( pink / coral / lavender / eye / black ) or maybe this excellently cute red dress? or this mask from biolgique recherche that i can promise you you will not regret. i’ve used it a bunch lately and it’s definitely the most hydrating mask (masque if you’re fancy) i’ve ever used. or maybe just buy a bunch of pretty but practical unders? i like this brand a lot. or this coral teddy coat because it’s still winter (unless you’re in atlanta where it’s officially springter)?

or maybe order a pizza and masturbate.

oscars fash recap

here we are again. another year of picking apart the most beautiful people in the universe. but fashion is fashion and the dudette abides.

let’s get on with it.


my favorites-

for me arguably the best ever. take your hate elsewhere. i gasped. i teared up.

it’s sexy, flirty, modern, pretty and it fits her like a glove. chanel couture forever. and the shoes are 100.

the end.

we live for janelle monae, right? the opening number was fucking great. and this glenda the good witch from space vibe is a gift from god.

zazie beetz. the name alone is worthy of an oscar.

so stunning. the hair and jewelry are to die for.

another gasp moment. she looks like the venus de milo. unreal.

ok, now for the still beautiful just not my faves…

a beautiful stiff sparkly penis.

the toothpaste white against her skin is the stuff of dreams but the stripper shoes are a no from me dawg.

big bird but make it gorgeous.

because the shoes are a HARD NO. also homecoming vibes. not even prom….HOMECOMING.

who put that horrible elvis wig on this gorgeous woman. regina…fire your hair person.

ditto rebel wilson. i would have pulled a veronica lake swoop over the magnitude of that forehead (tenhead). gorgeous otherwise.

she looks 100 feet tall and menacing. i don’t know..can charlize ever look bad? no. the answer is no. but i’m more than a little bored here.

hmmm..capes. what are you hiding under there?? (and, yes i know the names of the women snubbed this year were embroidered on it.)

not wrong. but not quite right either.


and now for the nopes…

i’d rather see your tits than your tongue. #annoyed.

what the fuck is happening here?

why do preg women do that in pictures? and why do they suddenly wear mother nature inspired headgear?

i’m so pissed right now.

just take off the pink jellyfish and we’re good.

gimme a break.

ribbon candy with gloves. no gloves please. ever. love her head.

this is the equivalent of watching your family eat the french toast you made while you eat half a grapefruit.

oh for fuck’s sake. (see what i did there? i’m fun at parties)

a walking afterthought.

i expect nothing less. bea arthur is clapping somewhere.

turkey gobbler up top, curtains on the bottom. i literally HATE this dress.

living for the face and hair and jewelry though, so points for that, SERSHA.

who were your faves? least faves??

i'd stay here

i was scrolling through airbnb looking for places to stay in asheville and stumbled upon this impressive modern fortress with “the best views in asheville”. those aren’t my words (obviously) but after a quick look around i’d say they might be right. concrete floors and a decidedly UN-cozy feel are not my usual cup of tea when it comes to interiors but i think i’d stay here if there were only an air mattress, a toilet and a candle. in fact in many cases i’d might actually prefer it. let’s just say there are some details i would have chosen differently. but i’m not here to scrutinize the decor of a vacation rental. because those windows! that view! architectural digest chose it as the most beautiful airbnb in north carolina. (they would)

it doesn’t come cheaply; mind you, a 6 night stay in april (spring break for most) for 3 guests will set you back a mountainous (pun) $3,066.

the details:

set in riceville valley

4 guests - 2 bedrooms - 2 beds - 2 baths

12 miles from downtown asheville




you can book your stay here.

also i think i’m going to make this a thing….

airbnb’s i like?

discuss.

grab your hats (from your hat armoire) this is a good one

first of all this needs to be a full fucking hour not 10 minutes.

i am affronted. they should have spent 10 minutes on the lampshades alone. i would’ve taken 5 on lampshades and 5 on the fabric/textile room. rude.

i needed at least 15 minutes of B roll footage showing the grounds.

the birdsong throughout is a reminder of how dull our lives are in comparison.

also no kitchen? WHYYYY? that’s all anyone ever wants. we know it’s arsenic from farrow and ball and i don’t need a full minute of susanna signing her name in a book. i need to see what’s on her kitchen counters. WHAT COLOR IS HER AGA??!