well hello! welcome to the cougar den. at least that's what i call it...i've heard neighbors call it the whore house, but i pay them no mind...come in come in...let me get you a cocktail..
sit down here on my circular sofa while i go pour the drinks...warm your toes by the fire will you? don't mind my shoes and ombre robe..i was just getting comfortable.
i'm back..did you notice your reflection in the shiny, copper pendant light? that's on purpose...ha ha haaaaaaa ha haaaaa!!!
we can stay on the circular sofa or we can go in here and watch something on my flatscreen? do you like 70's porn? i do.
sometimes i'll sit here in the nude and tickle the ivories..
if you need to tinkle here's the bathroom. does the portrait turn you on?
in the morning i'll make donuts and coffee....
if you need to tinkle here's the bathroom. does the portrait turn you on?
here's the bedroom. i have a circular sofa in here too and a flatscreen. i love to come in here and watch jake gyllenhaal movies all day long. look! one's playing right now! do you wanna put on my high school band uniform?
what? my initials? CG? oh..haa...no...that stands for Cou-Gar. you can spend the night if you want. twilight is on on demand in HD.
in the morning i'll make donuts and coffee....