the guys:
1- paul mccartney was wearing flair like a fucking TGIF waiter.
2- robert downey jr. is the coolest motherfucker on planet earth.
3. george clooney couldn't be bothered to have a good time bc he was sad. but i saw his girlfriend give him a look that said "stop being a pussy! this is my first awards show and it will probably be my last so pull the tampon out!"
4. how was jon hamm's wife not raping him all night long??
5. michael c. hall has cancer??!! fuck!! get better, ok?
the girls:
sofia vergara is stunning. the dress was a fucking sewing project.
too heavy. it looked like a flight attendant's uniform and a prom dress had relations and this is the offspring..
creature feature avatar face in a wild west bordello dress.
sparkly and divine. it's so simple and so sexy. gorgeous.
fuck you tina fey!! this is bullshit!
sigh. here's the thing...i know someone reassured you that you look amazeballs in purple..but this is church pageant purple. i don't know what that fabric is but i know it sucks.
blondes in navy with a subtle tan...delicious. she looks fabulous.
it would have been better had she gone with an updo. but the green is gorgeous.
i mean the woman is stunning. c'mon. but i feel i have seen this dress on her a million times.
nicole is riding the crazy train these days. hard. first the powder face and now the nipple show. get a grip nicole. and that dress sucks. be sure to catch the bouquet later!!!!!!
one of my faves of the night. she has never looked better. and kudos to you for outdoing monique's speech. always an actress.
MAJOR LESBO CRUSH HERE! good lord. she is perfection.
it's not bad. really it's not. it's just that when you have enormous boobs and you show them like that it makes you look slutty. the dress is really very pretty.
i have heard a lot of ooh's and ahhh's over this but i think she looks like a fruit roll up. or a peen.
who let crazy in???
lea michelle's dress was one of the most beautiful, frou frou things i have ever seen. another fave.
it looks like fondant icing...
but it is beautiful. maybe better for oscar.
i get it julia..you are true boho..but i was bored..
one of my faves..she looked amaaaazing! i think she always gets it right though. so sexy. she was clearly in the mood for some fun...aka...getting pounded by gerard butler.
creepy.
fuck you stupid headband.
beautiful dress. boobs are too saggy.
holy shitballs!!!! winner. hands down. best dressed. best everything.
look at those cute little curls in her coiff...
how can you even go on after halle berry? everything else just sucks in comparison.
ok..well..kate looks pretty. yawn.
great dress, great color. creature feature inside. srsly. maurice sendak..i found one of the wild things.
it's pretty.
surely she tried the dress on for someone! and that someone was either high (justin) or drunk (cameron) or too hungry to see straight (rachel zoe). is nemo hiding in that coral?
this dress was gorgeous. but, better for cannes. the american audience will think it ugly. how cute is he though?!?! 
another fave. i thought she looked beautiful. the neckline was so pretty. the earrings..the hair..the makeup...it was all perfect. she is plastic surgery done well.
weird. but sometimes i like weird.
too much ruffle for a curvy girl.
bea arthur called from the otherside and wants her dress back.
putty face.
the dress is beautiful and only cameron could have pulled it off.
old lady.
another fave. she was smoking hot. i am a sucker for sparkles.
not feelin it. i thought the dress was ill fitting and made her look fat instead of pregnant.
i will leave you with what i thought was the biggest trainwreck of the night..
patricia arquette and thomas jayne...
no words necessary.