the oscars or what was up george clooney's ass?

so really, what was up george clooney's ass? why is he so sour? he needs a little bite of humble pie methinks. in the words of kwang koto, employee of the peachtree rd. chevron station; "hey george...go fuck self...you has everyting!!!!!!!!!"

ok...high-lites:
1. when the so you think you can dance-ers came out to dance to all the oscar songs.
2. when bradley cooper and gerard butler were on stage together. two...two...two orgasms in one.
3. when the avatard lost to his ex wife. (and why does no one talk about his current wife's anorexia?)

alright then..first lets talk about this hotness...

he looked amazetothemuthafuckinballs!! yum.

ok, here's my worst. some of these women are still gorgeous despite the weird dress choices:

sigh....

this is so disappointing. one of the most beautiful women in the world chose to make a mockery of her boobs. i punch you.

this looks like she rolled around in day 2 of my period..

the underside of a fish belly..

it's not the dress, it's the hair. it's mall hair. it's 80'smothafuckinmallhair!

sardine..

dynasty..

i imagine some people out there loved this most likely bc it was chanel. i just don't get it.

a body like that and you want to wear a silky sack? fuck you sjp- i expected more from you.

this is a shame really, she is so beautiful and this dress is sadsville. and she was the first female director to ever win an oscar so this picture is going to float around for infinity! i mean really, doesn't this piss you off? she could have worn almost anything on her frame and looked stunning. i would have started with color.

david's bridal. flowers don't match. bullshit.

next up is "you looked pretty, but not the prettiest"...

pretty

has the queen ever looked prettier?

pretty (this almost made into the top)

pretty

pretty

pretty

surprise pretty!!

ok now for my top 9!!!

9. gabourey sidibe. she looked fantastic!!

8. diane kruger. loved this dress. i love that she takes risks. i hate boring more than anything. looked amazing on her.

7. miley cyrus. perfect. age appropriate. loved this dress. but yes, the slouching is no good.

6. sandra bullock. i thought she looked stunning. her hair was my fave. the dress didn't blow me away, but i thought the whole package was amaze.

5. anna kendrick. i love a fleshy pink dress. and it looked great on her.

4. elizabeth banks. stunning.

3. k-stew. sexy, pretty. she's never looked better. lesbo crush back on.

2. jennifer lopez. holy shitballsofshit. head to toe perfect. my friend anna has been thisclose to jlo in person and has said she is the most stunningly beautiful woman on the planet. skin like velvet buttercream and teeny tiny in all the right places. i imagine tonight she made people pass out. look. at. HER!!!!!

i think overall this is my best dressed buuuuuut.....

1. zoe saldana's dress blew me away...

when i saw this walking down the red carpet i got chills. this is a lot of dress and it's a little odd the way it looks like a skirt but i know that if i were going to oscar i would gravitate toward something like this. it's magical.
i know a lot of you probably hated it but it took my breath away.
i love me some purple and the beaded top..jizz.

ok. agree? disagree? let's have it..