first of all i'd rather slice open my eyeballs with razor blades covered in acid salt than attend a music festival let alone an outdoor one with bugs and boob sweat and poop holes dug into the ground.
second of all the fashion from coachella is all over the universe right now (aka pinterest) which means it's in my face all day and i am so over everyone under 35-
with your crop tops and your jumpsuits and your ironic t shirts.
i would like to give you all a warm cup of ding dong juice.
but.
i get it.
i was 25. i was 30.
and i was a total asshole in a crop top sucking down your mom's ding dong juice hatred.
let's look at some outfits.
this year was all about the coochie cutter:
this outfit is terrible.
hey snookiehontas do you need a straw with those lips?
a well hidden cooch.
bashful cooch.
don't get me wrong i own about 4 pairs of coochie cutters so i ain't hatin too hard.
but dear lord looking at the massive line up of camel toe has me rethinking the CC's.
some of my favorite looks..
it's all about those necklaces.
but also coochies done right. aka no visible cooch.
the hair flowers are stupid as fuck but the dress is right up my alley.
super comfy and breezy.
simple and stylish.
it helps when your CC's have lots of pattern.
i don't know if this is julianne hough but if it is she just got a fashion hi-5 from me.
this is so good it hurts.
although for me, by noon it would be covered in food spills and probably someone else's blood.
and now...some ridiculous:
for me it's not so much about the retro checks as it is about the hair, shoes and bag.
look at this bat creature with visible fupa.
truck stop oompa loompa.
i'll be glad when my pinterest is back to your bullshit wedding photo booth inspiration and dumb quotes about striving to be successful and carpe-ing that fucking diem.
in other news..
today i am going to see the frida exhibit at the high museum.
much needed inspiration.
i'll take pictures and pray i don't get arrested.
i'll wear my favorite coochie cutters and rock a well earned fupa.
