the whole stocking and nothing but the stocking

the stocking is an underrated and underutilized vessel for gifts. if you put an orange in my stocking you’ll get stabbed.

i don’t hate practical gifts in the stocking but mix it up with some showstoppers, ya know?

here for the stocking that holds ALLLL the gifts.

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gua sha for the body - i have this brand’s face gua sha set and it is THE best. the stone is made of basalt and it stays cold without refrigeration (until your face warms it up obv.) and the oils are heaven.

portable christmas tree candle - cedar, spruce, fir, pine….all the trees.

but go beyond just the candle and include a vintage match striker.

a fancy razor - not really but it’s heaps better than the one she buys from publix.

the (clap) best (clap) chocolate (clap) on (clap) the (clap) market. if you can find the mulled wine flavor please DM me.

gucci socks - don’t question. just get.

lord jones bath salts - i have. they gooood. smell amazing.

eera earring - my favorite italian fashion girl made a very very very expensive earring. and yes, it’s just one earring. again, don’t question.

sun potion pearl powder - i put this in my coffee every morning and am on my second container. i have noticed a difference in the overall “bounciness” of my skin. it’s like collagen but better.

unicorn salt - this is good. i put it on everything. seriously.

give good stocking y’all.

significant other gift guide - HERS

i can’t think of one thing on this list i wouldn’t legitimately be thrilled about seeing under my tree this christmas. THRILLED.

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tie dye sweats - well…sweats. but impossibly cute. like a unicorn puked all over you. (bottoms here)

vintner’s daughter - it’s as good as they say.

i love a good incense and holder combo. sexy.

cocktail napkins - really love the pink and blue combo.

smokeless fireplace with scandi vibes- pricey but WOW. what a cool gift for someone without a fireplace that dreams of roasting her chestnuts.

kin - i have been wanting to try this for so long. perfect for dry january. comes in a nightcap (to help wth sleep) version and a lil buzz version. get both.

charles and di mug - because she reinstated her love of all things lady di. (lots more here)

silk pillowcases - love the pink marble.

roller skates - i have some and little pleases me more than putting them on and skating around my house.

hair dryer with benefits - she wants this.

get moving my people….there are 11 days til christmas.

significant other gift guide - HIS

i find this person to be the easiest to shop for. but i get that that’s not the case for everyone. in any case these are my gift picks for your SO. and not to put too fine a gender on it…i suspect there are definitely things your feminine SO would love too.

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electronic, wall-hanging fireplace- give him “fire”! would he ever expect this?

mid-size indoor/outdoor ping pong table- because he doesn’t go anywhere anymore. (maybe buy yourself these.)

prepper’s prep kit- (said in the voice of stefon) this kit has everything: food, water, first aid, solar phone charger. plus more.

sherpa lined shacket- optimal warmth for nights around his new “fireplace”.

magic spoon low carb cereal- for the keto/paleo obsessed who misses cereal. it’s supposedly really tasty.

weird looking chair for the perpetually hunched.

molecules 01- this is literally the best smelling fragrance on everyone. any gender.

the most powerful leaf blower- get the job done effectively and efficiently. also POWER.

an endless supply of shoe wipes- if your SO is a virgo this is a win.

theragun- a different kind of “do me and then i’ll do you.” everyone wins.

meat- specifically snake river farms wagyu beef. i’d go for this sampler.

death row records sweatshirt- because he is hip hop 4 life.

look out for the feminine version tomorrow.

teen girl gift guide

ok. i caved. here’s a gift guide for the teen girl. impossibly aloof. best eye-roller. supreme asshole. weepy. silly. hilarious. smarter than you. awkward af. and the love of your life.

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silk pillowcases to protect her skin and hair. so many colors to choose from.

sweats. because that’s all she wants to wear. (it’s all any of us want to wear) (bottoms here)

the only gucci you should buy her. this gloss is cool. i want it. it’s highlighter without pigment/glitter. it’s lip gloss. it’s eye gloss. all the cool girls are doing it.

custom painted vans. extra cool.

my teen tells me the ikea bucket hat is a vibe.

i think everyone wants to be like oumi janta these days. so- skates!

these seashell candles are the cutest.

and these abstract resin earrings.

she needs to wake her own ass up. this alarm clock has cool features and excellent ratings.

super absorbent hair towels. less blow drying needed.

portable bluetooth speaker that you can also use in the shower.

the prettiest pearl ring.

a top rated weighted blanket. soothe her anxiety. and then yours.

skims slides. she wants them.

fiona loves this book series that takes place at the biltmore. she’s read it twice.

a candle that looks like cereal because that’s her favorite thing to eat.

what other gift guides would you like to see? please sound off in the comments. thank you LYSM.