hippie tuesday

today we are here to talk about stuff that is sure to cause a few of you to do some serious eye rolling.

while the majority of you are obviously going to the store for provisions right after you read this post..

at least 2% of you have already done it and will come correct with your stories and experiences.

i'm talking about oil pulling, friends!

basically oil pulling has been around for a lot of years,

and was invented by an ayruvedic healer doctor..

probably one of these guys..

it's supposed to make your teeth whiter, your skin glowy-er, your hair shinier and your energy peppier.

but it also cures things like:

headaches

bronchitis

tooth pain

thrombosis

(musical instruments?)

eczema

ulcers

intestinal disease

(too much pooping? never!!)

heart and kidney disease

encephilitis

(isn't that what robert deniro had in that movie where they could catch the ball while they were sleeeping?)

women's diseases 

(um...periods?)

sleeplessness

growth of malignant tumors

chronic blood diseases

paralysis

nerve diseases

stomach diseases

lung diseases

liver diseases

toxins that are caused by taking prescription drugs

that's a lot of stuff.

i'm not saying that it is going to cure your cancer.

but i say it's worth a shot.

this is how it works:

the idea is that you swish some oil in your mouth for 15-20 minutes every morning on an

empty stomach.

over the course of the 15-20 minutes your saliva starts to dump or "pull" the toxins into the oil thus removing them from your body.  or something like that. 

sounds fucking ridiculous, i know.

but lots of people over lots of years have sworn by the positive results.

i suppose it's no different than going on a juice fast.

or sucking years of poop out of your intestines with a hose.

or sweatin' to the oldies.

or going vegan.

all forms of detox.

i am on day 2.

and i have to say that after day 1 i was bouncing off the walls by lunch time.

though i have had more mucous all up in my throat and stuff..

this is the most common side effect i have read about.

i have also read that you can see a worsening of symptoms

before you see long term results.

but the opposite is true too. 

in other words, some have nasty detox reactions and some don't.

i will be taking it slowly.  

i intend to do 2 days on, 1 day off.

and i will only do once a day, though it says you can do it 3x's a day if you want quicker results.

i think this thinking is wrong.

but that's just me.

detoxing can be really bad if you don't do it gently.

anyway..

there is more information here.

 mike is doing it too.

oil verps,

real hippie mom shit

it's monday again.

time for home remedies that work.

i am old which means i have been using these remedies for a spell <----(old people talk)

and they work.

every time.

#1.

it's pink eye season.

the little ones always bring that shit home.

but save yourself a trip to the doctor and a useless round of antibiotics that only serves to bring that shit back again and again.

instead use my hippie home remedy...

eyebright tea!

you can order it here and here.

you could use tea bags i suppose but i have always used the loose variety.

here's what you do...

begin to boil some water in a kettle.

put 1 tablespoon of eyebright into a teapot or something that it can steep in (a large coffee mug will do).

once water is almost to the boil (not rolling)

pour 1 cup over the herb.

cover the teapot/mug so it can steep, for 5-10 minutes.

strain into a jar or something with a tight fitting lid (not plastic).

let it cool a bit and then stick in the fridge.

once it has cooled considerably

dip a cotton ball in the tincture and squeeze excess liquid into the pink eye victim's eye.

i do this twice a day or more depending on the severity of the pink eye.

always before bed.

tip: i find letting them do it themselves is much more successful.

just stick around to see that they get the liquid in their eye.

then offer a towel to wipe up the drips.

do this every day until the pink eye is gone.

and it will be.

gone.

#2.

tummy troubles.

low energy.

hangover.

diarrhea.

food poisoning.

toxin removal.

all of these can be alleviated with the use of 

umeboshi plums.

while they taste like a goat's taint,

they really do work.

they've been around for thousands of years and are used much the same way an aspirin is used.

for low energy i brew some kukicha twig tea and drop 1 whole plum in the bottom

let steep for 5 minutes, drink the tea and then eat the plum's flesh and suck on the seed for about 10 minutes.

letting it sit in the tea helps to dilute the plum's extremely salty taste.

for nausea, overeating, hangover etc..

i nibble on 1 plum a little bit at a time.

and then suck on the seed once it's gone.

if you find you can't do this bc they are too strong, just stick to the tea method.

the plums, while very acidic going down are extremely alkaline once inside your body. 

they are not cheap, like 15$ for the box.

but they last a long time.

i use this kind:

available at whole foods.

and 

#3.

the best sore throat remedy i've ever come across:

apple cider vinegar.

it has to be this kind though,

the kind "with the mother"-

that floaty loogie looking shit at the bottom.

gargle with this 4 times a day.

it's also good dropped into the ears for earaches.

that's some real hippie mon shit ya'll.

believe in it.

and don't you go dyin' on me!!