gather round..swishers and bleeders..

bet you thought this was an AHS recap.

it isn't.

that's coming though.

first i thought i would update you on swishing..

i haven't swished in 4 days.

my doctor told me to hold back a bit..

since i was feeling so bad.

he recommended i do it every other day.

and i did.

bc i was.

feeling reeeeal bad.

tired beyond what is acceptable.

fever that caused aches.

panic attacks that caused murder thoughts toward my loved ones.

i was unable to leave the house on some days bc i hurt so bad.

and then i would get really sad and start sobbing as if i was listening to a joni mitchell song while reading the bell jar.

and throughout the 4 days off the symptoms persisted.

i debated (still debate) on whether or not i have the flu..

but there is no stuffy nose, no coughs, no runny nose, no poops, no pukes etc..

nothing but terrible malaise.

like the worst hangover of your life.

last night the headache of all headaches started.

and as i write this i am shaking with pain in my brain.

i NEVER get headaches..

maybe once a year.

and then this morning i woke up to this:

so..

i have questions.

mostly my older lady readers are going to be able to answer them for me.

did this detox cause the worst pms of my life?

am i just in the beginnings of the change?

and does the change cause me to feel like i want to seriously murder everyone?

i mean i know pms can make you crazy, but crazy AND feel like i am dying?

the thing is this..

i KNOW detoxes can bring out some nasty shit.

i KNOW some people are more susceptible to these effects based on their immune systems.

being a type 1 diabetic my immune system is probably a little slower than yours.

while doing a detox your body can 'grab a virus' in order to facilitate the elimination of the toxins.

but yet, nothing was coming out of me.

no snot, no diarrhea, no puke...all effective ways to eliminate the toxins.

and yet, all of my symptoms sound exactly like the herx symptoms.

speak up my ladies.

i need your experience here.

and if you're in your 20's pass this around to your moms.

i love you all.

i hate you.

i love you.

i hate you.

stab.

december is so glittery

lots of things go down in december..

my birthday for one.

and also fiona's birthday..

and jesus's too.

a triumvirate of awesome if ever there was.

before you get your AHS recap (and it will be a doozy)

you need to chomp on this bit of glittery december goodness..

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16

and for more moodboard magic visit tobe at because it's awesome so that you can see the living room i designed for her.  she bought a painting from me that i used as inspiration.

here.

on the swishing front..

i am on day 4.

i have read that it's better to actually do it every day than to skip a day.

so..i changed my plan.

i woke up today with a headache and my eyes feel like suitcases.

how are you guys doing?

stay tuned for your recap..

and many thanks for the outpouring of awesome comments yesterday.

it was the lift i needed to bring you the dumbest recap possible.

i might even draw something.

glittery oil farts,

top image via atlanta homes mag

hippie tuesday

today we are here to talk about stuff that is sure to cause a few of you to do some serious eye rolling.

while the majority of you are obviously going to the store for provisions right after you read this post..

at least 2% of you have already done it and will come correct with your stories and experiences.

i'm talking about oil pulling, friends!

basically oil pulling has been around for a lot of years,

and was invented by an ayruvedic healer doctor..

probably one of these guys..

it's supposed to make your teeth whiter, your skin glowy-er, your hair shinier and your energy peppier.

but it also cures things like:

headaches

bronchitis

tooth pain

thrombosis

(musical instruments?)

eczema

ulcers

intestinal disease

(too much pooping? never!!)

heart and kidney disease

encephilitis

(isn't that what robert deniro had in that movie where they could catch the ball while they were sleeeping?)

women's diseases 

(um...periods?)

sleeplessness

growth of malignant tumors

chronic blood diseases

paralysis

nerve diseases

stomach diseases

lung diseases

liver diseases

toxins that are caused by taking prescription drugs

that's a lot of stuff.

i'm not saying that it is going to cure your cancer.

but i say it's worth a shot.

this is how it works:

the idea is that you swish some oil in your mouth for 15-20 minutes every morning on an

empty stomach.

over the course of the 15-20 minutes your saliva starts to dump or "pull" the toxins into the oil thus removing them from your body.  or something like that. 

sounds fucking ridiculous, i know.

but lots of people over lots of years have sworn by the positive results.

i suppose it's no different than going on a juice fast.

or sucking years of poop out of your intestines with a hose.

or sweatin' to the oldies.

or going vegan.

all forms of detox.

i am on day 2.

and i have to say that after day 1 i was bouncing off the walls by lunch time.

though i have had more mucous all up in my throat and stuff..

this is the most common side effect i have read about.

i have also read that you can see a worsening of symptoms

before you see long term results.

but the opposite is true too. 

in other words, some have nasty detox reactions and some don't.

i will be taking it slowly.  

i intend to do 2 days on, 1 day off.

and i will only do once a day, though it says you can do it 3x's a day if you want quicker results.

i think this thinking is wrong.

but that's just me.

detoxing can be really bad if you don't do it gently.

anyway..

there is more information here.

 mike is doing it too.

oil verps,