battle of the bedrooms

i am obviously obsessed with lots of pattern these days.

many of you professed your hatred of the matching outside mounted window shades in bedroom #1.

i will tell you this..

TO ME...that is part of what keeps the room looking modern.

i will tell you this also too in addition...

the room is way better looking in the magazine (nov. house beautiful) than in this dinky picture.

bedroom #2...is pretty fucking amazing too though.

perhaps even more amazing in that it's like a blue majestic work of art.

if you follow me you know i poop golden nuggets over that wallpaper.

but THAT wallpaper with THAT floor is too good.

and don't get me started on that fancy lady antique chest.

and the tiny little square mini table in front of it.

and the bed and the pale blue desk?

i can't.

but...here's what i also know without a doubt.

i would get real tired of the blue bedroom a lot quicker than the creamy bird bedroom.

thoughts?

p.s. if you have to buy one magazine this month make it house beautiful.

the nov issue is ridiculously good.

the nov issue of elle decor (apart from the alex papachristidis lair) is not.

i blame MIR

that's mercury in retrograde FYI

and thankfully i don't have to tell you what FYI means.

it's all just code for you don't understand your body, mind and life anymore.

i found it pretty amazing that all of my readers (hi) were not only sympathetic to my wanting to bail this bitch...

but were in the same scary boat to nowhere.

i have been thinking on this for several minutes (approx. 12) each day since the 1982 post.

i wondered if the majority of commenters were over the age of 35.

bc i thought it's certainly possible that a great handful of us are at a certain point in our lives where we just don't know what it's all for.

you know....

all of that existential crap that you hear about in your 20's and early 30's and think about for like, a half a second just before you put on your lip gloss and go out and get slutty drunk.

 is it just a mid life thing?

maybe it's several things.

maybe it IS mercury in retrograde.

let's discuss for a second what MIR is anyway...

first the meaning of the word 'retrograde'..

essentially it means moving backward.

in astronomy it means:

moving in an orbit in the direction opposite to that of the earth in its revolution around the sun

 

 so what does it mean when they say mercury is in retrograde?

well,

every year, mercury turns retrograde roughly 4 times. 

 it's really just an optical illusion based on the approximate speeds of earth and mercury around the sun.

so is there something to this?

according to astrologers mercury governs thinking and perception, all forms of communication and transportation.

so how does it affect us?

total fucking chaos and bad shit is what.

things like:

personal misunderstandings,  flawed, disrupted or delayed communications, negotiations and trade and breakdowns with phones, computers, cars and train – all of these problems usually arise because some crucial piece of information has gone astray.

(KIEL POLLITT-astrologer person)

fucking mercury!

so..

when is mercury in retrograde, exactly?

ummmm.......right now.

july 14th- august 8th.

after that time shit will begin to settle.

hopefully.

ok so what do we do until that time? 

sit back and let mercury side-fuck our butts?

what do the "experts" say?

according to astrologer kiel pollitt the best approach is a non-reactive one.

as in..

don'tquityourblogjustbecauseyouhavenothingtowriteabout.

"treat the time period as one of information gathering, as the information will be in constant change"

"allow yourself plenty of time when traveling and practice patience when you feel yourself becoming agitated"

 "mercury retrograde always asks you to review what you have already started rather than to take on anything new"

"once mercury turns direct, you can resume making plans and continue business as usual"

 i don't know how much i truly believe all of this astrology business...

and honestly it would appear that MIR is more about miscommunication and numbers than total fucking brain meltdown.

i mean..

what about when mercury isn't in retrograde and bad shit happens or sadness consumes you day and night?

who or what do we blame then?

for me...

when i feel this way...it is a signal that i need something to change.

but figuring out what that is since marriage, kids, family...settling down...side-tracked career path...

etc...is not so easy.

i've always believed that things happen for a reason if you open your eyes to them.

in other words...when shit happens you can find good in it if you try hard enough.

except when mothers lose their children.

that is something i can never wrap my head around and it's my primary reason for not totally believing in god.

there.  i said it.

whew.

shit just got heavy here.

i don't intend to entertain anyone's religious agenda here so don't even bother.

i will cut you out like an infected wound.

so...

what to do?

well, in my 1982 post i mentioned needing to connect with nature again.

 which i still haven't done.

too hot?

too busy? 

too tired?

*coughcoughbullshit*

these pictures remind me of how important it is to do just that.

and how healing it can be...connecting with nature.

for me it is the closest to god i get.

 being outside isn't the answer to our problems, certainly not my own, but i'd like to think that it's a start.

if anything i think it's a great place to just listen to your thoughts and body.

i believe we have all the medicine we require to heal ourselves, mentally and physically.

but man is that hard to invoke!

sure, help is there in the form of drugs and therapy and i certainly won't be the one who takes a shit on that for you.

sometimes they are necessary to start the healing process.

but i am going to try and listen to my inner hippie wisewoman and then take small steps to a better me.

i need to do better. i need to BE better.  

the truth is i am not at all where i thought i would be in my life at this point.

what's more is that i don't think i thought that far ahead after 35.

but here i am...after 35 and i have no idea what i am doing.

whether it's all as simple as mercury in retrograde i don't know..

but i do know that life IS VERY short.

time will tell you that, kids remind you of it and the shame of a housewives marathon smacks you in the face with it.

 in any case i am totally blaming mercury in retrograde for all of my zits.

all images except for FM courtesy of the sick talented jonathan levitt

it's not 1982 anymore..

i was 12 in that year.  the year of the goat?  dog.

anyway..

when i was 12 summer was the best thing in the world.

these days summer is just dumb. 

let's start with the obvious and most alarming..

television!!

the tv seems to take a shit on my face every night when i turn it on.

last night i scrolled through 4,000 channels on the guide and ended up watching an echidna and a platypus birth their egg mammal babies.

 1n 1992 this would have been prime tv watching because it would have meant i was 22 and super baked, therefore enjoying the hell out of it. 

but somehow it just made me want to punch the echidna in it's snout and tell it it better find me something good to watch!!!

second on this list of dumb is the heat.

i don't remember summer being this hot.

i also remember being in a pool for most of the summer.

so maybe i just didn't feel the heat.

but, i don't have a pool and neither do my neighbors.

and here's another thing..if we weren't in my neighbor's pool my mom dropped us off at the town pool.

dropped us off!!!!????

hello kidnapping and raping.

things are just so different today.

if i dropped fiona off she would cry because i abandoned her

and then drown.

here's another way summer is dumb..

it's dumb bc it's expensive.

i never went to camp as a kid unless it was a school camp and that was a REAL camp with cabins and outdoor showers and it was only in the 4th grade.  

and i won "neatest bunk". 

no, seriously i won neatest bunk.

fiona has been to 4 camps and has one more to go and that's only a quarter of the summer filled up.

we have spent at least 2,000 dollars in CAMPS!!!

in 1982 i was running around, alone, in the woods pretending to be someone i wasn't and loving every minute of it.

granted fiona is 7 and we lived in a fairly rural setting,

not in southwest atlanta. 

and let's talk about how LONG summer is.

she was out of school may 18th and goes back to school august 16th.

is that right?

it seems long.

ok, maybe it's long to me bc i am in charge.

to her it probably seems like the shortest amount of time in the universe.

good for her.

i hope she's having fun.

another way the summer isn't the same...

computers.

and blogs.  pinterest. facebook. twitter. instagram.

i honestly feel like these things are melting my brain.

i have been struggling for things to post about for weeks.

posting pictures of pretty rooms just feels so stupid and anticlimactic bc the majority of you have seen it all on pinterest.

i can't bring myself to watch design turds let alone recap it.

i could recap the housewives but i feel like so many of you are actually out living your lives...

you know...so you won't even read it.

i was on a roll with the new house stuff but we haven't even moved an inch forward with that.

mike's too busy and he sort of needs to be involved.

i have been painting a lot bc i have some super exciting news that i can't share yet.

no post there..

i didn't post yesterday not bc i was off being sick...

i'm actually ok.  great even.

i think the summer cold may have been allergies and i am new to allergies so i have trouble identifying them.

nope...

i didn't post yesterday bc i had nothing to say.

i tried. 

i was going to show you pictures of channing tatum's hot body and tell you how much i enjoy looking at him.

even though his ears stick out and he kind of looks like a giant penis with arms and a face.

i have not seen magic mike bc i have heard it's a depressing pile of horseshit and there is little man butt and a lot of dialog.  

no one is paying 12 dollars to hear these guys talk about stuff.

i was also going to show you this door..

bc it's delightful.

but everything i wrote just sounded so stupid to me.

like i was trying too hard to post JUST to post.

i guess what i am trying to say in WAY too many words is i am not inspired to write this blog.

it doesn't mean i am quitting.

it doesn't even mean i am taking a dumb break.

im just being honest with you.

i will always write what's on my mind.

a blog is hard to write, every day..finding something entertaining to write about is just hard..

and i don't want to be a blog that just shows you pictures all the time and then asks for your opinion.

snooze-a-pa-looza.

essentially this is the 'jenny show'.

and that is why i try to bring as much of my absolute self to this show.

all of it.

the good and the bad.

so...instead of trying to come up with shit to write every day..

i am going to hang back.

if something inspires me i will be back here to write about it.

if not...i will go away for another day or two. or four.

i just wanted you to know where my head is at.

lately i have been very nostalgic for the way things used to be.

how easy things seemed to be...how easy summer used to be.

every morning jumping out of bed with a bundle of energy, getting dressed, eating breakfast and then going outside to play.

all day, every day.

i would meet my friends and we would disappear into the woods and go to swimming holes and jump from tire swings and outswim the water moccasins.

we would travel miles down a creek, walking over slippery rocks to do so.

that sounds fake, but it isn't.

it's the absolute truth.

i need to find a way to get that back into my life somehow.

not THAT specifically...but the freedom of summer.

i haven't had...well...FUN!!...in a very long time.

i wanna have some fun.

anyway..

thanks for listening, for being awesome, for commenting, for buying art, for having my back, for keeping me in check, for laughing with me and understanding my kookiness and even liking it.

i hope you'll hang in there with me through the summer into the fall when there will be all of our favorite recaps to look forward to (downton and AHS) and some new ventures to discuss.

until then i am going to get off the computer for a minute and go and enjoy something that i don't have to pin.

(but i will totes instagram it for you)

new house tour part 2- brought to you by black eyed peas and corn....in resin.

thanks for all the encouragment and enthusiasm from yesterday's post.

coupla things:

1. i love the idea of a studio/mudroom for the sunroom.

the good news is there is also a basement with a work sink that i could use as a studio if need be.

so i have options.

options are where it's at.

2. someone asked: why won't white work in a dark space?

well, the simple answer is that it just won't look white.

it will look dark and shadowy and dingey.

the white will more than likely look gray and dirty and depressed instead of bright and clean and pretty.

in some cases white in a dark room looks beige and that's the worst wall color i can think of.

it's better to embrace the dark and go dark.

mid tones work best in a dark room.

in other words..the middle of the paint strip is where you want to go in a dark room.

whatever color you choose to paint it it shouldn't be the lightest version or the darkest version of that color.

just go right in the middle.

another misconception i think is painting a dark room a "sunny" color.

as if that is supposed to replace the light or something.

i guess it really all depends on just how dark the room really is.

which would mean that all of the above info isn't any kind of law.

and the BEST answer would be to test test test...

just follow the guidelines above if your room is dark and/or faces north and/or is shrouded by trees etc..

dark.

and then, once your dark room is nice and cozy with it's perfectly chosen paint.

light that fucker on fire with lamps, sconces and candlelight.

prettiest room ever.

ok...

on to the tour!

the family room.

this room was added onto the original structure,

hence...

the existing window on the outside of the house is now an inner window that is directly above the kitchen sink on other side.

and super sorry about the blurry pic. 

so, ideally i would close it up bc like the other one in the dining room i think it's super old fashioned and just plain weird.

i mean i don't need cooking fumes to waft into my tv watching cave getting all of my upholstery greased up.

plus there is a huge doorway leading into the kitchen just to the right of the sofa there.

so there's just no point.

erin suggested a large mirror on both sides.

and i dig that idea as an until i can get it filled in option.

the fireplace works and is both gas and wood burning.

again with the options!!

the fireplace in the living room also works with the same options.

so, this is the room i struggling with as far as what direction to go in.

i am torn between this..

super dark modern rustic glam cave.

or

light and bright and relaxed and clean.

i could go both ways honestly because the light is great in here.

it opens on to this cute patio..

so it would make sense to use it as the light and bright option but it's carpeted and has a cozier feel than the 

light and bright inspiration pics.

i supposed i could cave it up in the living room but i want the cave aspect in the room that i watch TV in.

and watching TV in the living room (front room) isn't an optin bc it's just too close to the bedrooms.

so.  

that whole bit just has me in a decorating conundrum.

white people problems, i know.

ok, on to the kitchen..

cuntry strong.

despite the barf color and faux finishes the cabinets are SUPER quality.

and changing the cabinet fronts is in the distant future.

but they will be painted in the interim.

probably white or gray. 

up close:

it's like someone wiped poop into the crevices and sealed it with lacquer.

and the counters while appearing black in the photo are anything but..

just your basic vomit sparkle granite.

 with a "fancy" edge. 

are you ready for the most amazing cabinet knobs you've ever seen?!?!

black eyed peas and corn....in resin.

there were more. 

12 more i believe.

all different.

all edible.

all in resin.

like a prehistoric mosquito fossilized for all eternity.

let's all just take a moment.

ok..

i am standing in the doorway to the family room and to the right of me is the breakfast nook.

i failed to take pictures of so many aspects bc i had to go to the bathroom and it was not a pee.

no joke.

i needed to get out and i wasn't into using their bathroom to drop off the kids.

and since we live right down the street from this house it was a mere seconds before i was able to take care of business.

but before we left i was able to take one last pic.

and this is the ONLY real drawback to this house.

because it is totally unfixable.

the masterbath.

it's small.

there it is.

and there it goes..

the other side of the wall is the kitchen and other side of the tub wall is the narrow hallway.

i am pretty sure if there were a better option these people would have done it.

so.

is it a deal breaker?

i don't think so.

bc there is another bathroom (just as small) that i can use for my needs and mike can use this one.

but in a few years fiona will be at that age where sharing a bathroom with her will be torture for us both.

but until that time we can deal.

as for the other rooms.

there are 3 bedrooms.

the master is great.  nice size, nice and bright.

fiona's room is med. size and perfect for her.

the guest room is tiny but we never have guests so who cares?

the basement is great, lots of space that we would use for mike's office/ foot ball watching nights, as well as a play area for fiona.

all in all it's a GREAT first house.

and we are excited!!

new house tour part 1

i snapped some pics of the future house..

for your judgement.

cute, right?

and the white paint is pristine.

so are the shutters and i am usually not a fan of shutters.

but i think once i paint the door and change the lighting it will improve that little bit of something that makes it not the most awesome it can be.

down the road i would change the landscaping around the front but that's down down down double-dog-down the road.

that room right there is a sun room..

the side door there, where all the potted plants are opens into this room:

a cute little sunroom.

if it were me i wouldn't have this here at all.  total waste of space that i could use a million different ways..

BUT..

i am considering this to be the spot i paint in...the light is awesome,  the floor is tiled and there 

is a hose right outside. 

seems perfect, except that it's where you would always enter the house from.

i mean it's not the front entrance but it's one of those situations where i think most people would enter from..

certainly where we would enter from.

wall. 

interesting.

the driveway needs replacing at some point.

the living room, or the room you enter into if you used the front door.

or the room no one ever uses.

i would like this room to be used and spectacular.

like this:

and this..

and this...

the only problem is it's the darkest room in the house..

so white is totally out of the question.

anyway....that's the FEEL i want his room to have.

loungey and casual and sexy, but fresh.

moving on...

the dining room.

that window into the sunroom is going to be filled up at some point.

it annoys me. and i think it looks old fashioned.

i don't know...i may change my mind.

i'd certainly have to live with it for a while.

there is another large window to the right that lets in plenty of natural light, it was just closed with shutters.

the room is a decent size...but not big by any stretch and there's a breakfast nook off the kitchen that we would use to eat in on a daily basis.

so for this room i'd like to do something like this..

have it be a library/dining room/office.

but with this feel..

and a little of this..

airy and light.

not dusty and heavy.

besides i don't have that many books.

how about a happy marriage...

 

 yes.

there are more but your time is up.

come back tomorrow for part 2..

the kitchen, family room and master bath edition.

don't go dyin on me.

today

today..

we are going to look at a house.

and it's not actually terrible looking!!

ok the inside is pretty terrible looking ( thanks to MLS pictures) but thankfully it's only 40 gallons of paint away from being not terrible looking at all.

think dijon mustard trim and ketchup walls.

think beadboard cabinet fronts (top and bottom) (painted dijon mustard yellow) with mix-matched glass colored knobs.

but the bones are great and it has been well maintained.

the front looks a lot like the house up there.

 well, it could.

fairly easily.

so fingers crossed for us.

in other finger crossing news...

i have my 409th drop dead diva audition today.

let's go ahead and book it this time, k?

also, have any of you been watching girls on hbo?

you should be.

it's fantastic.

thanks for snatching up my paintings so fast yesterday.

more monsters are coming..

to EAT YOUR FACE OFF!