updates from fun town

greetings from fartcation! 

so far i have plucked my eyebrows..

 

- issued a fatwa on my television.

- done some new yoga routines (holy hip flexor murder).

- watched 4 seasons of sex and the city..

by far my most favorite carrie hair.

my least favorite carrie hair.

and

i have painted some crazy paintings..

 

it's called neon jellyfish

because there are such a thing and this painting is like an acid trip in an aquarium.

it's 36 x 36.

still working on taking the party outside

baby steps.

fiona is in a play today at the alliance theatre..

just a summer camp play but she is very excited..

and very good, actually.

we are super proud of our girl.

ok then..

have a great weekend!

today

today..

we are going to look at a house.

and it's not actually terrible looking!!

ok the inside is pretty terrible looking ( thanks to MLS pictures) but thankfully it's only 40 gallons of paint away from being not terrible looking at all.

think dijon mustard trim and ketchup walls.

think beadboard cabinet fronts (top and bottom) (painted dijon mustard yellow) with mix-matched glass colored knobs.

but the bones are great and it has been well maintained.

the front looks a lot like the house up there.

 well, it could.

fairly easily.

so fingers crossed for us.

in other finger crossing news...

i have my 409th drop dead diva audition today.

let's go ahead and book it this time, k?

also, have any of you been watching girls on hbo?

you should be.

it's fantastic.

thanks for snatching up my paintings so fast yesterday.

more monsters are coming..

to EAT YOUR FACE OFF!

we need to talk about summer

last night i basically laughed in someone's face when they asked me why i wasn't hosting my own design camp.

first of all, no one would come.

second of all summer rapes parents of their freedom.

and while a design camp might be cool for some folks..

all i want to do is sit in a treehouse eating chocolate and freebasing white wine on ice while my kid hula hoops down below.

summer changes when you have kids.

it's all about them.

not you.

actually...that's basically your life 24/7 when you have kids..

anyway..

in the summer it all just gets kicked up a notch.

you become a planner and chaperone and dragon slayer of boredom.

and maybe in the middle of their downtime you can muster the energy to limewash a secretary and paint it's insides pink..

but then it's back to building a dollhouse out of cardboard.

 for my next trick i am tackling my office/bedroom..

i am going to paint my desk black.

and the walls soft mint green.

it's going to blow everyone's face off their head.

then sometime in 2015 i will paint my french doors black and move on to the living room and those F&B pink ground walls.

don't any of you go dyin on me.

things.

a quick hello and a w'zup from summer vacation.

for the endorphinators...

turns out i got the wrong kind of endorphinate.

i got the endorphinate PR...

the PR stands for pain relief and it's got the guarana aka caffeine that is ok in the AM but at 1:30 in the morning is not where it's at.

so at 5:41 AM (still awake) i googled endorphinate and realized that i needed the endorphinate AR....

which stands for ANXIETY RELIEF.

DUHHHHH.

so..

i ordered it and it should be here in a few days.

we need to talk about kevin.

or...

we need to talk about you not watching this movie ever.

i was under the assumption that this movie was a thriller, a horror movie.

it is not.

it is a slit your wrists kind of why in the fuck did i watch this shit not good time.

don't be fooled by that fun little cannes label..that was given by someone who doesn't have children.

and it's not earth shattering.

the times is dumb.

 that's all for now.

thanks.

memorial day on the estate...

isn't that what memorial day is supposed to look like?

i think so.

cold, stiff drinks.

red, white and blue.

games on the lawn.

my memorial day doesn't.

but that's beside the point.

endorphinate came in the mail today.

i took one and felt like i got a caffeine enema followed by an 8-ball facial followed by a pulp fiction-style adrenaline shot followed by a serious case of the sleeps.

not sure what it all means.

but i THINK it's maybe where you wanna be on memorial day.

in other news on a monday where no one is reading blogs...

fiona's room WILL be photographed BY A PROFESSIONAL this week.

i've started oil pulling again. 

and fiona has mastered the hula hoop..

watch it or i will punch you..

it kinda doesn't get any more memorial day than that.

mood board supplies:

sofa- vintage (check craigslist for ficks reed or rattan)

elephant- serena and lily

lantern- julian chichester

gingham pillow- etsy

chair- vintage

rattan coffee table- serena and lily

lobster pillow- furbish

rug- the rug loft

beverage bowl- serena and lily

red metal side table- nathan turner

vintage game- one kings lane

chest- vintage one kings lane

red, white and blue glasses- vintage one kings lane.

golly

by the lack of comments yesterday i'd say you were all either totally offended by being called a fuckhead..

which if i'm being honest (simon cowell) i certainly meant it more for the general fuckery that is monday and all those fuckheads surrounding monday..

like emails and chores and errands and sick kids, not YOU precious readers..

OR..you just didn't comment.

either way.

apples and oranges.

but if i did offend you i would like you to consider this peace offering..

no, that's not me.

but i definitely wish it was.

as in i wish i had thought of it first.

because i would so totally use it as my blog banner.

now..

i haven't even begun the downton recap bc fiona is really sick with strep. 

so all apologies for the delay.

i love you.

a great big thank you to benjie for the discovery of flower-tits up there.