wake up everybody..it's that dick monday calling!

i hope eveyone had a stellar weekend!

here are some thoughts i am having.

1. fiona is home with me all week which means nothing i plan to happen will fully happen.

2. my period about killed me yesterday.

3.  it's so hot here that the inside of my air conditioned house feels like the inside of guy fieri's butthole.

4.  i generally smell awful at all times (see #3)

5. this is weird and beautiful..

fiona: (knock knock) come outside mommy come outside mommy come outside mommy come outside mommy..

everyone else: we can see you!

6. i can't stop staring at this:

7. the turds are tonight.

recap coming tomorrow.

hopefully (see #1)

8. 

why?

9.

 i am on the hunt for wing chairs for my dining room like these..

i think i found them..

right?

10.

i leave for the beach next week so look out for butt updates and bathing suit tears (that's 'tears' as in eye water not 'tears' as in to my perineum when i gave birth)

let's just say that i do not look like this:

a little more like this:

this week will be slow going bc of my race to work out more and eat less.

plus i have 2 recaps to do this week.

you will all have to be satisfied with these things or i will punch you in the buttguts.

i love you all like a fat girl (me) loves everything (but herself). 

some things...

those walls are painted and textured to look like velvet.

i like it.

also it's real hot here.

i am actually inside my fridge right now.

and.. 

the producers begged bentley is coming back tonight to shit on ashley's face.

it will be the most dramatic rose ceremony ever times infinity!

in conclusion..

here's to hoping i can post tomorrow's MDD recap before FARTSPACE deletes it.

see ya real soon!

pretty delights

labial delights..

girly delights..

aqua windsor delights..

nook delights..

palette delights..

giant painted peony delights..

exotic delights..

shutyourdirtymouthwiththatview delights..

circular delights..

hranowsky delights..(part 1)

part 2..

part 3..

delighting your face off..

images via turquoise LA, elle decor, lonny, world of interiors and H&G

let's talk about it...

 the other day our friend nelya posted this amazing house tour...

i can't get it out of my mind.

specifcally the kitchen...

people!!!

it's art i tell you.

like a painting by a dutch master.

i would pay money to tour this house.

i want to feel that oxidized brass counter top...

are you kidding me??

who does that??

awesome people that's who.

i want to sift throught those antique cabinets in the back.

what? is there a fridge in there too?!!

fuck that's good.

the cook top is down by all those fruits in bowls.

no invasive pendants or pot lights.

just a pretty glow emanating from the top of the wall of cabinets..

there is just such an artful perfect mix of modern, antique,  contemporary, sleek and beat up..

masculine and feminine.

heavy on the masculine.

i want to tiptap my shoes across that floor

and ohhhhhh that chandelier.

the rest of the house too please..

the house is obviously very old but they somehow made it look super modern without compromising any of the original splendor..

i love how you can't really tell where the ceiling begins..

could be just lighting but still..it makes the room seem so airy.. 

and i LOVE LOVE LOVE that they painted a "baseboard" on the wall.

it's all just so serene and calm and beautiful.

what are your thoughts on it?

see more here.

shit i don't hate on a monday

this scorpian lamp.

luxury that doesn't use a heavy hand.

albert hadley's brain.

the fact that i never seem to tire of this room.

duh.

mirrored walls.

head to toe orchid denim against a clay pink wall. 

black patent leather walls.

fuck off forever.