RHOATL!!!!!!!
episode 1:
drag queen sheree is taking an acting class...
she's terrible.
they all are.
kim's a lez...
nene axed kim to come over to discuss her lezzy ways.
at nene's there is backfat..
kim discusses how she "connected" with her woman friend.
even though she has "been chasing dick since coming out of the womb". well put slutface.
we also learn that nene and greg's marriage is rocky.
and that dwight loaned greg 10,000$$.
and that dwight's nose is fake..and sewn shut?
kind of like my pooper was after i ripped from cooter to a-hole after giving birth?
ironically nene shares this tidbit with us in pre and post rhinoplasty shots...
glass houses and black kettles nene!
kandi arrives at kim's and kandi wanna know why she still frenz wi'nene??!!
she also wanna know why she all up in that piznussy!!??
kandi and her new football player boyfriend willis mchhgshgggsomething go rock climbing.
who comes up with this shit?
kim and her daughter brielle discuss boys all the while brielle is eating ice cream with her mouth open and she has braces and i have to avert my eyes so i don't throw up...
newcomer phaedra is cute as button. a pretentious little brown button.
she is pregs.
and adorable.
and pretentious.
did i mention that?
she is a lawyer.
and from what i gather a spitfire that would fuck your shit up.
she and no-nose appear to be close.
they are eating giant pregnant size portions of carrot cake (at which point i have to rewind 3 times bc i can't stop thinking about the goddamn cake and how i want to shove my face in it) and discussing how dwight spent 30,000 dollars of his own money to help sheree put on a fashion show for her collection last season.
i find this bit of information to be completely and utterly ridiculous.
what kind of donkey spends 30,000 dollars of their own money on someone else's fashion show?
if this is true dwight is a dumbass and doesn't deserve to be paid back.
but i highly doubt any of it's true.
phaedra discusses the difference between her and nene, whom she has known since they were girls.
it is very "i am up here you are down there".
phaedra doesn't think nene is much of a lady.
no phaedra i don't think so either..more like a sasquatch.
meanwhile nene confronts greg about the 10,000 dollars conspiracy.
greg say it was 500 dollahs.
nene say she just glad to have the facts fo a change.
is it offensive that i am typing the words as i hear them in my head?
i don't care.
ebonics is cool.
all the housebitches show up to some weird shoe party..
nene confronts dwight and it turns into a lot of closetalking and faceeating.
i was hoping nene would scrape the wax off of dwight's face, with her teeth.
or dwight would spray moose repellent.
sadly none of that happened.
then everyone leaves the lame shoe party.
and then a car barrels down peachtree st. and runs all of these dumb drag queens over.
