vacations are hard.

the ocean is overrated and kinda gay.

it's primarily something you look at and after a day my eyes are like, whatever ocean.

plus it's loud like a thousand lions roaring inside of a tiger's mouth.

 

and i'll be honest..

i don't go IN the water, except to my knees.

i am of the jaws generation and that shit runs deep.

so-

there's really only so much of this you can do..

before you find yourself back in your condo eating fudge and hummus while watching "family" shows like the big bang theory and the adventures of old christine or whatever it's called, in the middle of the afternoon.

 

some of you might say...

well jenny, that's when you give in, relax, chill out and become one with the big, gay ocean.

but then i say to you..

there is the cooking, and laundry and grocery store runs and homework to be done and swimming lessons and...all the things.

and that shit sounds way too much like regular life.

 

and why does everyone still wake up at 6:45 AM on vacation? (talking to you mom and dad)

that's regular life suckers!! 

 

i guess at the end of the day it's just important to leave your house for a few days?

maybe?

 

and then with all of that travel stress relaxing you find yourself back at home with a runny nose and scratchy throat. 

 

and a house that smells like a pet smart.

 

THANKS VACATION!

 

the upside is that i spent time with my family.

those people are mostly awesome.

 when they aren't up at 6:45 banging around or listening to the TV full blast volume like legit old people.

and 4 days of ocean gazing (gayzing) with a side of laundry and cooking is better than 0 days of ocean gazing (gayzing) with a side of laundry and cooking.
so i get that.
no one needs to tell me that at least i got to go on vacation.

 

and well, now that i am home and my kid is back in school i intend to take the next few days to recuperate from my vacation (side eye) and cold by reading blogs and watching missed TV. 

which includes the turds.

and an almighty recap for you!

 

you're welcome! bye!!

 

 

 

guest post finally- from a remote area of the pool.

i have missed you guys. 

i am sorry for the guest posting snafu.

got to the beach and our condo had no wifi so we had to investigate areas for free connection.

and it just so happens to be by the pool, near the hot tub and a lot of loose, brown skin and wide, flat butts.

 

anyway..our weather has been awesome.

not a lot of people here and the fudge is as good as i remember. 

we leave tomorrow and from what i hear some nasty weather awaits us in atlanta.

i would appreciate any info you locals have on this matter..

 

ok then.

 

my guest poster is none other than my best girl mollsballs aka molly.

she has a blog too and you should read it bc she is funny and cute and does a lot of things for you to enjoy and copy.

 

 

 

 fudge. 

 

 

hola, mfamb’ers!

your girl mollsballs here, standing in for our lovely jenny as she stuffs her mug with delicious fudge and lays in the sun all week (under her umbrella, duh).

when jenny asked me to guest post, i was not only super excited and appreciative of the opportunity,

but also incredibly nervous.

i struggled with the need to balance my chance to mainline the awesome, with equally awesome content for you, stylish readers.

but then i saw this:

 

i know, right?

 

gorgeous.

 

its claude wasserstein’s penthouse apartment in nyc.

who, you ask?

the french widow of the late bruce wasserstein,

legendary new york financier.

she also happens to have quite the pedigree and impressive resume herself; formerly a cbs news producer, she

now owns susie’s supper club in nyc, selling healthy, family-friendly frozen meals to much success.

clearly.

 


obviously the lifestyle is paid for by the fortune she amassed by marrying this guy:

 


smart girl.

 

he passed away in october of 2009 at the young age of 61, but according to forbes magazine, had a reported net worth of $2.3 billion.

yes as in dollars. $2.3 billion dollars.

so she’s cool, financially-speaking.

obviously.

 



and, according to the fabulous plum sykes,

who wrote the article for vogue featuring the fabulous photos you see here by francois halard,

she's pretty cool all around.

she has six children, one of whom she and bruce adopted after bruce's sister, the pulitzer prize-winning playwright wendy wasserstein, passed away at 53.

writes sykes; "she's the type who, when her kids say, 'can we please go and see the viking mounds in sweden?,' will say, 'sure.'"

 

wouldn't you, if you had a couple billion between the states and offshore accounts somewhere?

i sure as hell would.

she also serves on various charitable boards in addition to her

responsiblities as owner of susie's supper club;

this gal has got her hands full.

 

i wouldn't worry about her, though.

i mean, this is where she eats breakfast:

 

i'm pretty sure that anyone who uses a suzani as tablecloth

is ok in our book, no?

and dude.

check out that sick view.

positively brilliant.

 

 this is lucy's room.

as in, eleven year old lucy.

oh, how i would have killed for a room like this when i was eleven!

 

my 11 year old room looked more like this:

 

preeeeeety.

(dry heaving and crying in shame. i want a canopy bed draped in hungy palate's

gorgeous "garden" pattern!)

 

 

here is 12 year old jack's room:

 

he's got an exotic fishtank, a globe on a lucite stand, 

french doors to the terrace,  and some supercool chrome letter stools at the foot of his bed.

 

that is the example of how to use letters properly in decorating a child's space.

 

here is what not to do:

 

 

you know who doesn't have tacky decor?

claude wasserstein.

 

 

her rooftop garden, sporting incredible 360degree views, also boasts artificial ground cover, oversized boxes of

pink foxglove, snapdragons, lavender and mint,  river birch trees in enormous planters, gorgeous climbing

roses, and plentiful vegetable garden just off the kitchen.

 

i know!

 

so maybe we can't all live life a la wasserstein...

but i for one, definitely plan on planting an herb garden this weekend.

just off the kitchen, of course.

xo

 

 

 

 

thanks molly.  

see you all monday or tuesday.

 

hotter than your grandad's nutsack while storming the beaches of normandy...

 trust me when i say that i would be posting way more but the connection here is slower than kelly bensimon helping her kids do their homework...

anyway..behold superfamily at their awesome best..

 

fiona beach cuteness.

 

nana and fiona- spf:adorable

 

 

you: shitty shit those things are huge.

me: duh!

 

sleepin' and creepin'.

 

walking.

 

one of MFAMB's readers, katharine of southern bourbon mountains is like the official pawleys island superstar and told me i had to go get tiger butter fudge from the general store.

i did.

balls.

half of it was gone before we got it home.

chocolate peanut something on top, to the right of it is delicious tiger butter fat maker, then cookies and cream butt expander.

fuch you katharine fuchs

i have eaten my weight in tiger butter fudge.