back at the whinery:
clearly everyone is hammered at this point..
douchelord tareq starts talking about shit getting stolen, a deer? a polo shirt?
fuck, i was confused bc he was drunk as balls.
apparently someone stole his car and his polo gear from a polo match.
he was trying to tell m'eddie vedder that her daughter was on facebook telling everyone that they had fun stealing that car at the polo match and that they were wearing said stolen polo gear in pictures.
then he says something about "the FBI was monninnering ev'ry eeemail...evrry conversation...90,000 dollar kerr (car) a joyride..." blahbiddy blahhh blahhhfuckoff
the FBI?!?! who do these people think they are?
and honestly do we really believe that the FBI gives a fuck about some fucking chaps and a polo mallet?
mary is super upset and those dumb dick douchebags michaele and tareq don't see how what they are implying is that mary's daughter is involved in stealing a bunch of shit. or maybe they do.
ok.
lets look at some facts:
you are on national television-
and you are drunk as piss.
you are wearing a cosby sweater from 1994.
you are talking about someone's kid stealing shit on national television while drunk as piss and wearing a cosby sweater from 1994.
you're guilty!!!!
of being a dumb bag of dicks.
i hold you in contempt of your ass face.
back in the nation's capital:
cat, lynda and stacie are getting fancy pedicures and they all start talking about it.
no one believes tareq's allegations and that even if it were true you don't bring it up at a casual dinner as if you were talking about the weather.
agreed.
then...
mary confronts lolly (her daughter) about the heist.
she denies it
she starts schooling her parents about how to handle the situation.
possibly saying something about colonel mustard with the wrench in the ballroom.
in any event mary is on the case.
NO SHIT!!!!
IF SOMEONE ACCUSED MY DAUGHTER OF THEFT I WOULD GET MY BLOODHOUND GANG TOGETHER
AND WE WOULD SOLVE THAT FUCKING MYSTERY!!
lynda found a house.
who cares.
awkward, forced meal #2:
cat is having lunch with the republican lobbyist for healthcare..edwina.
the discomfort is palpable.
homegirl has big fucking balls.
she is all up in edwina's face about the current state of our healthcare.
which is fucking dreadful, btw.
i love the fact that she started asking all these point blank questions.
was it the right time?
probably not.
in fact, why were these 2 even having lunch together?
awkard, forced meal #3:
lynda, ebong, jason and stacie having dinner somewhere-
and then go figure...another race conversation.
we find out that lynda was a victim of "reverse racism".
"growing up in south georgia i couldn't sometimes even eat at a restaurant bc i was white!
excuse me while i go and punch myself in the face.
for real?
nice eyebrow lift.
cruella.
edwina has a party.
all the housefarts will be there.
of course.
what kind of assfarter brings a bottle of wine to a sponsored party?
everyone shows up and pretends to like each other.
the party is in a hotel reception room.
excuse me while i go punch myself in the vaj.
bring on the booze bc i have a feeling someone is going to...
(record screeeeeeeech)
HOLY SHIT CAT SHOWS UP WEARING A FULL ON SARAH PALIN COSTUME!
i. fucking. love. this. crazy. bitch.
then some kind of edwina drama happens involving an ambulance and vertigo.
my guess is cat pushed that bitch down the stairs for being republican.
some drama goes down between cat and michaele and i am 100 percent certain that cat will end up missing or dead by the end of this series.
in fact in the opening credits she says,
"i'm here for a good time, not a long time"...
hmmm...that's some dan brown davinci code lost symbol shit right there.
be careful what you wish for cat.
