cat and mary start out the show drinking wine and bonding over parenting at mary's house.
clearly i wasn't the only one who thought cat talked like she just got back from mouth surgery, british style.
bravo threw up fucking subtitles!!
and we also are witness to the ugliest shirt in the history of forever:
anyway...it's confirmed that lolly had nothing to do with douchetarq's allegations about the great polo heist.
elsewhere..
michaele and tareq want to buy a home in the city so they call the only real estate agent in DC..
stacie.
stacie shows up at the 4 seasons royal suite where the salahi's stay when they're in town.
and it is duuuumb!!!!
"we like to enjoy life" says T.
stacie is curious as to where the money is coming from.
little does stacie know that the douchers stay at the embassy suites near the airport when the cameras aren't on.
more on that later...
then..
tragically, cat's friend phil (no idea) committed suicide.
sads.
lynda is going to use astrology to help her through her move.
so she calls her new neighbor mary in for some sageing..
"sagghhhe"
did you know lynda was raised southern baptist and converted to judaism at age 20.
astrology, judaism, sage...
she then drizzles tap water holy water on the lawn...
pretty sure she also took a giant shit in the sink and called it a voo doo cleanse.
or a doo doo cleanse.
they have to find story for her bc she is so fucking boring.
anyway..
stacie takes the douchers on a limo ride to find houses...and she asks them point blank...what's up with the vineyard?
a little info is revealed:
T'bag's mom sued him.
rejected by your mom sucks.
stacie wants to know, as a real estate agent, do these creeps have any money to buy anything??
T'bag wants to spend upwards of 8 million on a house.
my question is this, with the state of your vineyard in ruins and no wine production to speak of HOW is it you even have 8 million dollars to buy a house?
and if you did have 8 million dollars wouldn't you use it to fix your goddamn vineyard?!?!
silly dummies.
the adoption chronicles continue and
my heart pitter patters for stacie's husband jason...
he is in charge of stacie's hunt for her color purple moment.
another event for all the housefarts to gather at:
men against breast cancer.
a charity event.
everyone's there..
mary is shitfaced.
cat breaks down about her friend that died and it makes me cry real tears...
and for the finale:
we see that in fact the
oasis vineyard is in ruin.
but the salahi's have big plans despite tareq's crazy mother...
cut to sirens and cops arriving at the vineyard..
mom called the police to have t removed from the property.
and this is where michaele breaks down and i do NOT cry real tears for her.
these fucking parasites deserve everything they get.
i don't know the whole story but something tells me greed is at play and for that i have no sympathy.
besides everyone has the power to change their situation.
these two are just trying to remain rich.
greed makes people do crazy things.
i still need to know why in every episode t'bag's mother is trying to have him arrested or removed from a place.
does anyone know the back story here?
*****UPDATES-
several links in the comments section for all those as curious as i was.
i think we have sufficient info on these assmonkey's now.
thank you all for using you supersleuth blooodhound gang capabilities..
"whenever there's troooouble we're on the doooouble...we're the bloodhound gaaaang"
