i suspect none of you reading are actually poop doctors.
because A. why would a poop doctor be reading a design blog? (is this a design blog? what have i become??!)..
and B. if a poop doctor was reading this surely they would have spoken up by now given the amount of poop talk that goes on around here.
friends,
i have made an appointment to see a gastroenterologist because i have had an ongoing stomach issue..
since the beginning of november.
but you all pretty much knew that, right?
i love you so hard.
so lets talk about it.
because i damn sure don't have any design news to share.
you see the thing is..it's less about poo and more about my gut.
i either have intense nausea or a feeling like someone is punching me hard in the pit of my stomach.
i either have a hard time pooping or i poop like 8 times a day.
i have the usual food triggers that make it worse, like dairy, but i don't eat it anymore so it's not that.
and it's not gerd or heartburn.
maybe.
here's what i have narrowed it down to...
1. for sure a heart attack.
2. almost positive it is stomach cancer.
3. 100% garunteed that it's mold sickness.
4. without a doubt it's lyme disease.
5. it is totally an h. pylori infection in my stomach lining.
6. an ulcer probably caused by #5.
7. dying.
so if you know of anything that i forgot i am dying of, speak up.
and rest assured you will be with me every step of the way through this process.
if i have to have a colonoscopy (deargodpleaseno) or an endoscopy (sweetchristdeliverme) or drink a barium milkshake with all of the above (killmenow)..
i will share all the poopy facts with you.
because that's what friends are for.
(p.s. do not ever in your life google image search colonoscopy).
see? friends!!
