sorry guys. this post is going to disappoint (what else is new?)...

but

i am for real laid up like a donkey who got kicked by a donkey.

i have been having some back issues (upper middle if you're wonderin) since about december.

they come and go.

worse after a work out..

anyway..

i have been living with it just fine (i mean it sucks but it's been manageable)

until today.

MOTHERFUCK!

i woke up and thought..this is it.

i am going to die today.

i drove myself to the end of the street to a chiropractor.

seriously he is right at the end of my street.

after some poking and prodding..

he tells me i have subluxation or some such thing.

and cervical misalignment.

go figure.

that's what pushing out a 9 pounder shoulders first will do to you.

i got to go for a ride on a table that moved me back and forth over a massager which was awesome.

if i had turned over it would have been REALLY awesome.

and i got cracked and popped and stretched (a little less awesome).

i was better for about 10 minutes.

now it just feels the same if not worse.

i have to go back for an x ray on monday and am supposed to take it easy all weekend.

gee...darn.

so all this to tell you that i have nothing to post.

except go make these shorts:

bc they are just too cute not to.

HERE.

anyone else have back issues that they care to share?

any tricks i need to know about?

and remedies that work for you?

and did the chiropractor do his thing? i mean is it supposed to get worse before it gets better?

appreciate ya.

have a great weekend.

fartluxation,

i suspect none of you reading are actually poop doctors.

because A. why would a poop doctor be reading a design blog? (is this a design blog? what have i become??!)..

and B. if a poop doctor was reading this surely they would have spoken up by now given the amount of poop talk that goes on around here.

friends,

i have made an appointment to see a gastroenterologist because i have had an ongoing stomach issue..

since the beginning of november.

but you all pretty much knew that, right?

i love you so hard.

so lets talk about it.

because i damn sure don't have any design news to share.

you see the thing is..it's less about poo and more about my gut.

i either have intense nausea or a feeling like someone is punching me hard in the pit of my stomach.

i either have a hard time pooping or i poop like 8 times a day.

i have the usual food triggers that make it worse, like dairy, but i don't eat it anymore so it's not that.

and it's not gerd or heartburn.

maybe.

here's what i have narrowed it down to...

1. for sure a heart attack.

2. almost positive it is stomach cancer.

3. 100% garunteed that it's mold sickness.

4. without a doubt it's lyme disease.

5. it is totally an h. pylori infection in my stomach lining.

6. an ulcer probably caused by #5.

7. dying.

so if you know of anything that i forgot i am dying of, speak up.

and rest assured you will be with me every step of the way through this process.

if i have to have a colonoscopy (deargodpleaseno) or an endoscopy (sweetchristdeliverme) or drink a barium milkshake with all of the above (killmenow)..

i will share all the poopy facts with you.

because that's what friends are for.

(p.s. do not ever in your life google image search colonoscopy).

see? friends!!

calling all gastroenterologists...

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