FUCK YEAH I'M BACK!

2012!

that sounds really futuristic.

doesn't it?

especially if you say it twenty-twelve.

in which case you should punch yourself in the boobs.

 

i am not a big resolution person,

mostly bc that's an awful lot of pressure to put on yourself.

sure, i can say that i want to watch less the bachelor and more the science channel...

and that is an admirable goal bc it means i will become smarter at science but-

it also means that you will not be laughing along with my bachelor tweets and that is not helping you meet your resolution of laughing more.

 

 

but seriously, i do have some personal resolutions this year though i prefer to call them goals.

they aren't totally hashed out yet however, i will probably get around to it mid-march-ish.

 

it's good to be back here with you.

i missed you.

it feels like diarrhea without you.

 

 

so someone had a birthday she will never forget....

 

 

the tent was a success even though we cheated and used my parents' pop up beach tent.

at the end of the day we had a ceiling fan to contend with and no other spot for it.

the tent ended up being H U G E but it was perfect.

 

this is how it started:

mike had to blow beach sand off the tent with his blow hole.

just kidding it was a leaf blower.

 

 

once it was cleaned off he popped it down and popped it back up inside...

 

 

i put down a bunch of throw rugs as the base and then just layered sheets, blankets, comforters, mattress pads etc..

anything soft and squishy was fair game.

(this step had to be taken apart and repeated bc i realized on thursday when i was laying all the rugs and blankets out that i would have to wait to do this step otherwise i would risk having to clean cat shit off of every single one, so i did this step last but if you don't have cats i recommend you do this step first.)

 

then it was time for lights and stars..

fiona and i made the stars and mike hung them.

 

then it was time for the top and sides of the tent.

my goal was to make it look less like a wedding tent and more like a bohemian tent..

 

i used clothespins to attach every last sheet, tablecloth, duvet cover and large piece of fabric i had.

i started with the sides..

 

i created a little opening on the side for escaping that they could close when they wanted to.

 

i layered all the sides first..

 

then the top..

 

 

i just worked my way around like i did with the sides.

 

 

 

as a last bit of decoration fiona and i hung some pictures from coloring books she had done.

sort of like a banner.

 

 

 

a tv and dvd player were installed..

 

once the girls arrived and jizzed all over the tent we got in the car..

 

(kate, fiona and esther)

 

went to fernbank..

 

 

a couple of playgrounds..

 

 

then home..

for nuggets, tater tots, kale salad (i try) and movies in the tent...

 

 

 

and pony painting..

 

and then finally, AT 11:15!!!  sleep.

 

the next morning there were dadcakes with nutella..

 

and then a run around the neighborhood..

 

around 10 am they turned into mobwives season 1 and season 2.

and i had to send esther and kate on their way.

 

just kidding.

truth be told it was mine who started to act like drita.

the other two were perfect.

 

all in all this party was a HUGE success.

the perfect number of humans.

no more than 3 i say.

including your own.

 

i would do this again a million times.

but next time i will for sure try to hide the white on the inside of the tent with more fabric or sheets or whatever..

it was the only part of the tent that bugged me.

i just didn't have anything left.

 

anyway..

if you are considering a tent for whatever reason i highly recommend it.

since saturday we have had dinner every night as a family in the tent and fiona and i have watched 2 movies together.

 

not sure when we will take it down.

maybe never.

or until the first cat pees on it.

 

 

 

happy new year!

 

hey everyone!

  

 

i'm bout to do a dance..

 

 

 

 

 

cuz it's friday and i'm cute.

 

my mom wants me to tell you that she is dealing with some diarrhea at the moment and just can't be bothered to entertain you.

 

happy friday poopy heads!

have a nice weekend.

 

 

love letter

the year was 2004.  

the last day of 2004 to be exact.

6 years ago today.

new year's eve will never be the same.

not that i ever held much reverence for this day to begin with.

it has always been a major let down, party-wise.

nope, today will forever be your birthday.

i can't think about sparkle makeup and champagne when i have to think about princess icing, the perfect wrapping paper for your presents and is all this going to be good enough?!

as i said, i am ok with it.

for i love you.

more than the earth and all it's undiscovered parts.

more than wine.

 

 

 

 

i love that you could really give two shits about princesses and would rather go as a vampire or a monster for halloween.

 

i love that you sing songs while you pee so no one hears you peeing.

 

i love that you have an imaginary friend named ziggy.

and i also understand that this is bc you are painfully shy and having ziggy makes you less so.

 

i love when you sing and dance bc you do it in a funny way, not a scary "america's got talent" way...

 

i love that you love to draw more than just about anything.

(and i have saved every single piece of paper you ever put a crayon, pencil, paint brush or marker to.)

 

today you are 6. 

six.

such a big, funny, sweet, complicated, brilliant girl.

don't take things so seriously my darling..

life can stink like a thousand butts but you have to push through..

it always gets better.

 

i love you.

happy birthday.

 

-mommy-

halloween + decorating progress

 first up the cutest girl in the world made cuter by ladybug attire:

 

this was friday morning before her halloween party at school, hence the sleepy eyes...

 

halloween afternoon we had homemade chili(dumb) and corn muffins(dumber) with our pals the marler's....

fiona and her pal ailey...a bride...

 

s. mike....(!!?!)

 

me (in tiny hat) and mollsballs...

(i see you all looking at that headboard!  it is awaiting paint.  not sure what color yet)


first house..

fiona ditched the boots for walking purposes..

and pants...

 

but wait!!!!!...as if that wasn't exciting enough..

shelves were made over..

before...

 

primed...

 

painted...and roughly styled..

i need jamie the shelf whisperer to give me some tips...

let me address what the rest of you are thinking..

you: "MFAMB, why didn't you take the shelves off the walls to paint them?"

me: "bc they weigh more than Precious and they are drilled into the wall."

you: "MFAMB i totally think you should have painted the inside of the shelves another color!!"

me: "gross.  i would rather drink puke shooters."

you: "so no to wallpaper in them too?"

me: "diarrhea shooters."

you: "MFAMB why don't you put all your books vertical like?"

me: "bc they are decor books and 95% of the are too big. these shelves are really just roughly styled...as in i did them in a few minutes..i need to adorn them with a few cute ob'jets.  give me some time."

that ends this portion of the Q & A.

 

i hope you all had a fun halloween!!

we did!!